Panic Attack….- Johnathan -*Ch 5.3*

I woke up with a screaming headache and a bandage on the side of my head. When I woke up I was laying on the couch in the living room, at least nothing was spinning…yet. “Johnathan…babe…don’t get up yet…- hey Wolfgang..Johnathan is awake.” Groaning I rolled over slowly practically falling off the couch…cursing inwardly I decided to stay..just the way I was. I didn’t want to face Ramiro right now…why was he here anyway? 

“do you really…have to yell….?”

Ramiro: “…Sorry babe.”

I wanted to snap at him about stupid sorry’s – and that I didn’t do them, it would be pointless though. What would be the point of snapping at anything..or anyone right now…especially since I didn’t even know what the heck happened, or why he was here…or what I was doing on the couch. I last remember kicking Wolfgang out of my room, then…waking up – wait! Sitting up too fast on the couch sending everything into a spin and knocking off a glass of water onto the ground from the table when I swung my arm to grab my head as pain shot through it…everything came flooding back. Gritting my teeth, waiting for the pain to subside as the room stopped spinning.

“what are you doing here….exactly….didn’t i ask for space…”

Ramiro: “Yeah you did. I was..until….- wait you have no idea why I’m here….or what happened….?”

I immediately felt bad for snapping at him and tried to remember thing’s I’m obviously missing. Waking up…and wait ….he was next to me on top of my covers..but I don’t remember asking him to come over. In my panic….or was it surprise…both?…suddenly I was frustrated. My pounding head wasn’t helping me any and suddenly just wanted to curl up and disappear. I suddenly remembered it was surprise, I had cried out in surprised and cut it off I wouldn’t wake him and when I backed up..I went flying off my bed onto the floor.

Wolfgang: “Johnathan…slow down. Jeez…what is it with you and flying up..please lay back down before you pass out or lose consciousness again.”

Ramiro: “About that…Wolfgang…I …we didn’t get to that part yet….”

Wolfgang: “Oh….erm…heh sorry..”


I couldn’t help but yell because suddenly I felt like things were getting kept from me. I regretted yelling right away as pain shot through my head all over. God damn it…that hurts, more came coming back to me. I remember flying to the floor out of surprise, Ramiro shouldn’t of been there to begin with..and I started panicking and felt like the room was closing in on me…remembering my back hit my door. Blood…remember tasting blood, my lip…I had fallen and busted my lip. Wolfgang was laid out in front of my bedroom door literally.

“what the hell were you doing laying the hell in front of my door for wolfgang…- an if i hear one more sorry from a single person they’re going to get hurt….”

I suddenly felt myself getting laid back down on the couch, I didn’t even bother fighting it. Nothing was making sense suddenly, not to mention the living room had started spinning all over again.

Ramiro: “You stupid idiot..I said don’t get up for a good reason. Yelling will only make you feel worse…and you tell me not to yell. I don’t get you sometimes baby, look the doctor gave you something for your head…let it kick in first before you try and get up again okay. ”

Wolfgang had started cleaning up the water and shattered glass trying not to make any noise in doing so …and failing. Wait…doctor…? groaning out I was getting more frustrated by the minute. “before you loose consciousness again…” I shot up….I got knocked un conscious when I went flying down the stairs when I slipped…and knocked into the table . Looking over to the little table…the vase was gone, with a line where the table had smashed into the wall. The bandage, the headache…doctor – suddenly that part made sense…., I didn’t really have time to finished the thought though. 

I got up and ran into the guest bathroom slamming the door behind me and barely making it to the toilet. Once I was sure I was done puking and sank to the floor and curled up into a ball. Everything hurt…my head, back, side, stomach…my wrist – looking at it through blurred vision I saw it was wrapped all over again with a little bit of blood on the bandage. Suddenly the bathroom was spinning and it felt like the wall’s were closing in all over again, I suddenly couldn’t breathe again – oh god please not again. I started crying nothing made sense, he shouldn’t be here..Wolfgang shouldn’t of been there…none of this would of happened…my crying only made it harder for me to breathe. 

The guest bathroom door burst open and suddenly I was getting held in someone’s arm’s and told it was alright and that they were there. I was guessing it was Clary, everything was so distant though. 

Wolfgang: “Clary , Julian – Move! Get out of the way.. let Ramiro through now!”

I just wanted to be left alone, nothing made sense at all. I felt myself racking with silent sob’s making everything hurt more. I needed to breathe, I needed space…I was suffocating and felt everything spin more. Suddenly I was getting picked up and I closed my eye’s as nausea threatened to over whelm me, I didn’t want movement…but I needed to move. I was fighting consciousness and losing quickly. 

Ramiro: “Hold on hon’…hang in there. Almost there..breathe and relax babe, breathe and calm down…Hold onto me a little longer please….- Wolfgang open his door now! Clary and Julian get the hell out of the way… ”

~I’d never heard Ramiro get on Clary and Julian’s case before, and I knew he didn’t mean too. I didn’t say anything as I ran ahead of him and opened Johnathan’s bedroom door quickly and shot out of the way. Clary and Julian quickly dispersed after Ramiro got on their case. Right now all that was on Ramiro’s mind was Johnathan who was quickly losing consciousness all over again and having a panic attack at the same time. We knew he’d wake up confused and not understand anything at all.

As soon as I saw Johnathan bolt for the bathroom, I knew what was happening. I’ve been there more than once, to much at one time. Anxiety attack and panic soon to follow, I went to go after him to get shoved back and Ramiro going after, just to see Clary and Julian already in there. Johnathan didn’t need all of this at once, especially if he was trying to remember everything at once..which is what caused him to go flying in there to begin with. Clary had already wrapped her arm’s around him like some type of protective angel…something I’d never seen her do before.

I hated having to do it, but I had to snap at both Clary and Julian to get out and just let Ramiro through. All Johnathan needed right now was just Ramiro, he wasn’t going to be able to get through any of this…with anyone else but Ramiro. Julian didn’t understand what was going on at all except something was wrong with Johnathan, as for Clary she was like 10 steps ahead of everyone else in her head it seemed like. Something tells me when she get’s older she’ll be a doctor or something like that…makes me proud, I know it makes Yuuki proud too. Oh no….Yuuki….what am I going to tell her about any of this, though it won’t take her long to understand when I say Ramiro’s name or that he was here – suddenly I realize I won’t have to worry about it because she’ll understand right away. ~



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